Tuesday, January 13, 2009

The Bigs-Less Season 4 Awards

We all know who were the best of show in the AL and NL, but what about the players that deserve a "Flying Fickle Finger of Fate" trophy or ones that may need a new job at seasons end?

Pitchers Dream Award:

NL: Homer Ashby, 165 strikeouts combined with his whopping .233 average in 155 games. Good thing his defense is good enough to keep him employed.

AL: Alex Vazquez, 177 strikeouts and paltry .213 average in 162 games. If it wasn't for his contract, he just might be flippin burgers at the local Whataburger.

Chicks Dig It (Adam Dunn) Award:

NL: Max Clifton, 44 homers, .244 average, 143 strikeouts. It says he plays 3B, good thing he never did.

AL: Julian Nichols, 45 homers, .245 average, 144 strikeouts. Again it says he plays 3B, maybe a DQ Bistro is in his future.

Police Laughing Award:

NL: Trever Russell, 2 thefts in 20 tries. He said "They kept giving me the steal sign, I can barely walk!"

AL: Bill Daneker, 1 stolen base in 13 attempts. He said " I just cringe when the 'hit and run' sign is given."

My Bad Award:

NL: Scot Hutton with 36 errors and 6 minus plays.

AL: Marty James with 59 errors and 11 minus plays.

Minus Plays or What Was I Doing Award:

NL: Ronald Spurgeon beat out Cody Lincoln by a slim margin.

AL: Alex Li with 13 mind blowing boo boo's.

Am I A Pitcher or What Award:

NL: Ron Lewis with a 4-12 record in 32 starts.

AL: Keith Klesko with a 2-18 record in 33 starts.

Hero-less Complete Game Award:

NL: Charlie White with 5 CG's to his credit and a shutout victory followed a 5-12 campaign in 32 starts.

AL: Victor Hamill with 1 complete game but a 1-10 record in 20 starts.

Failure to Duck or Taking One for the Team Award:

NL: Lynn Abernathy has 17 bruises to prove it.

AL: Matt Davies has 23 seams tattooed around his arms.

Iron-Manless Hitting Award:

NL: A tie between Steve Sweeney and Achilles Parris as both had a sub .255 BA and 600+ AB's. Max Clifton of the Salem Sacrifices would have won but was 2 AB's short of further embarrassment.

AL: Alex Vazquez wins his second award with his .213 average in 633 AB's.

Iron-Manless Pitching Award :

NL: Patrick Clifton compiled a 8-16 record while pitching 226 innings.

AL: Perry Herman compiled a 9-16 record with 232 innings of work and Jimmy Cole compiled a 10-18 record with 223 innigns of work tie for the award.

The Backstop is My Friend Award:

NL: Chris Barrett had 17 balls pass him by.

AL: Jason Mann beats out Grover Becker, both had 16, but Jason did it in 69 games.

Coaching OOPS Award:

Charlotte Blue Devils: Rob Hentgen for his play at 3B.

Milwaukee Manic Maulers: Luis Martinez for his play at 2B.

NL: None

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