Saturday, July 26, 2008

AL changes for Season 3

Onto what the AL will look like for season 3:

The AL East will see the Kansas City Comets franchise in their third city and under their third owner in three seasons, as they move to Charlotte. GM majresorter leaves the Toledo (now Syracuse) squad to take over the Comets and has moved them to Charlotte to play in the AL East. When asked about the team's constant moving, 2B Javier Tavarez said, "Hey, as long as we're getting paid, we'll go out and do our best, no matter where that is. Baltimore this season, right? Oh wait, no, that was season 1. Can you edit that out?" Majresorter can only hope that switching franchises works as well for him as it has for John Henry in real life, who went from owning part of the Marlins to the Red Sox franchises and has 2 World Series titles to show for it.

The AL North has seen nearly a complete overhaul. The still-heartbroken Milwaukee fans will get to see the Manic Maulers try to get over the hump this season, but all their competitors have moved. Toledo fans are very confused, as they lost their current team but gained a new one. The Mud Hens packed up and headed to upstate New York to become the Syracuse Slyce under owner UtahCubs. When asked what was the first thing he'd do when he got to Syracuse, star SS Eli Jacquez replied, "Buy a snowblower". As Toledo residents were waving the moving trucks goodbye they welcomed in the former Cleveland Skidmarks, who didn't want to leave Ohio in their quest to make the playoffs under new owner/GM charlie22098. SS Orlando Franco said the best part of his new home city was "the fact that we no longer play next to a lake that once caught fire". Ottawa has not only left town but left the country- they will play in St. Louis as the Sillie Nannies. GM solowkoe will not confirm that Peter Griffin has been contacted to play for them next season; he was too busy dancing around a maypole to take our request for an interview.

In the AL South, the Durham franchise moves off Tobacco Road and into the deep, deep south as they will operate in Jackson this season as the Vipers under owner viperxx79. I'd have to think a Viper would easily win a fight with an Entombed Spider, so bonus points just for the nickname upgrade. When asked about the team's move, 2B Alex McClain replied, "Where's Jackson?"

Finally, the AL West sees another Canadian team leave our neighbor to the north and settle down in Seattle, much to the delight of their pitching staff and much to the chagrin of their hitters. GM The_Rock has denied he has already received angry phone calls from the agents of both members of the Kobe connection (Nakajima and Takahashi).

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