Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Coaching Outcome for Season 3 Part 1

TBSN - Ever wonder what others think of the coaches you have hired? Will it help your team? Did I make a serious blunder somewhere? Only time will really answer those questions except for the first one, the Fans have spoken and given me a clue as to what they think. And my fingers are tired form pushing buttons on that phone as I called 100 fans in each ML city to get the answer. Ok..OK already I never use a phone, that is what the internet is for, one question and you get many answers from your avid fans, some you don't want to know about or ever hear in anyones lifetime.

Anaheim Chiles - The Coaching staff stayed pretty well intact from last season and the fans were overjoyed at that fact. They were a little less enthused about Juan Sosa in the bullpen, something about being "wet behind the ears". But asked about Donald Miyakazi, who was thieved from Toledo, the fans wanted to know if there was going to be a "saki" night.

Points: 21

Arizona Diamondbacks - The Rattle Fangs, as they are known (do wish they would leave those damnable coin jugs at home) where overjoyed with the addition of Ron Carson (hitting) and laughed about gunslinger Adam Blair (bench). Harry Gragg (fielding) didn't get much hoopla from the Fang faithful.

Points: 20

Atlanta Bandits - All the Bandito's can do is munch on corn chips and eat tons of peaches. They were bean dipped perplexed as John McMurtry (hitting) was the only coach brought back for the new season. "Will this group steal us the championship?" one little girl asked dressed in her raccoon costume.

Points: 21

Austin City Limits - The "Dirt Liners" are thrilled to have a team, though they are still trying to figure out what their mascot should be. Like Atlanta, they also only brought back their hitting coach ( Tony Raymond). Running cheaply in the market and ferreting out prime suspects was the goal.

Points: 24

Charlotte Blue Devils - The "Blue D'evils" saw Ron Sefcik (1B) and Cookie Saenz (BU) hired to replace the departing souls. The D'evil faithful were chanting Kooooookie at the press conference.

Points: 19

Chicago Snake Tamers - The "Charmers" looked snake bit as the entire coaching staff was replaced and taken in a new direction this season. "Will this lead to a championship?" pipped a chorus intoned. "Maybeee!" hissed the Tamerettes.

Points: 24

Colorado Springs Chickens - The Chicken faithful were pleased that the organization kept Reagan "Coup" Sanders (BU) and Dennis "Wet Hen" Simpson (3B). Though not so sure about Kris "Tan Me Hide" Skinner (Hitting) or George "We Will See" Wiltse (PC) and the rest of the new Hen House leaders.

Points: 22

Fargo Dirtbags - The "Dirty Bunch" were out in force whoopin and hollerin up a storm as the Dirtbags opened their coffers for four new coaches. One little kid with tears in his eyes asked his mother "Are you going to raise my allowance so I can go to the games this year?"

Points: 17

Houston Riverdogs - The "Dog Pound in the Juice Box" were woofin loudly as the organization announced the hiring of Sal "Mister" Phelps as Pitching Coach and Ismael Vazquez as Fielding Coach.

Points: 23

Huntington Beachcombers - It was hard getting a response from a Beachcomber as they were all out with their metal detectors doing what they do best and for good reason. Huntington paid mucho dinero for Hitting Coach Diego Maduro then added Pitching Coach Ahmed Moreno and Andy "Hulk" Hogan at 3B.

Points: 17

Iowa City Cornjerkers - The "Crusty Huskers" applauded and drank corn squeezins when they learned the staff nearly stayed intact. As Lew Nady (Bench) was the only replacement needed.

Points: 17

Jackson Vipers - The newly formed "Hiss Pit" faithful heard that two old Spiders were unentombed and kept. Scot Webber (Hitting) and Moises Miranda (Fielding) to try and find the new city of destination and greet the incoming staff.

Points: 19

Las Vegas Gamblers - The "Pit Bosses" were dealt midnight one more time as the Gamblers gambled on Matthew Cole (hitting) and Zephyr Trammell (1B).

Points: 19

Louisville Legends - The Legionnaires gave a twenty-one gun salute in the hiring of Andrew "Jackson" Lee (Pitching) and Marino "Don't call me Dan or Tony" Bennett(Bench). But then almost saluted the GM with 21 shots when learned ticket prices would go up at least 10%.

Points: 20

Milwaukee Manic Maulers - The Maniacs were at a loss for words for the first time in years as the Maulers only kept faithful Pitching Coach Harry Rincon and built a new staff around him.

Points: 19

Monterrey Sultans - The "Sultans of Swat" exalted the move to hire four new coaches not resting with the same tired bunch that won it all last year. Or was it their demands were too far reaching in those deep pockets?

Points: 20






1 comment:

gumbercules said...

Nice job, firesign. The fact that we now have coach breakdowns tells me 3 things. One, we have many dedicated owners in this league. Two, we may have the most in-depth blog in all of WIS. Three, we have people in this league (myself included) with too much time on their hands.